well, now, the end of this year is near, no actually it's here.

the main thing i learned this year is you really need to learn how to let go of things. regardless of how painful it may be. thinking, overthinking, letting it get to you, letting it overpower all of the good times you had. it's really not worth it. it's not worth it for it to let you tear up. it's not worth it to let you rant bad things about people. it's not worth hurting people you love. it's not worth wasting so much energy over it. it's not worth the almost swollen shut eyes. it's not worth drinking for. it's not worth thinking bad things. it's not worth letting it hurt you. as bad as things may have been, you really need to learn how to stay strong even though so many changes happened all at once, if you lost so many things, became so distant from alot of people, or felt alone. you are never alone. people are always there for you, God is always there for you. you need to keep him in your life. if something is bothering you, tell somebody. rant it out, but only to a point where you'll actually go do something about it right after. ranting to somebody and crying over the same thing over and over again really doesn't do anything and it just gets annoying. if you don't like something, go change it, go fix it. if it can't be fix, deal with it. you can't always get what you want, you can't always have things go your way. sure waste energy getting mad and worked up for it. go cry again, it's not doing anything but hurting yourself more. you can't always please everybody. you can't always love everybody. and you especially can't love anybody if you don't love yourself. that is the one person you really should love because without it, man... how is anything possible. living a life while not liking yourself. if you don't like the person you've become or is becoming, change yourself, learn to love yourself and the person you want to become. don't let this get to you no more, be stronger.


i've let my tears over power my laughs this year. i've let the bad memories overpower to good memories too much this year. i've let my thoughts constantly ride my head this year. i've become somebody i don't really like much this year. i've been putting up with this shit too much this year. i've complained and annoyed almost everyone about my problems this year. i've appologized (and will continue appoligize) too much this year. this is the end of the year that caused me so much. and now...

im ready to leave this year with it's bad memories, bad habits, bad thoughts, bad skin today.. shed this skin and start fresh. i really deserve to smile more, to laugh more. to enjoy life more. stop stressing my body, stop stressing my head. my head is completely fried from these thoughts. i love the way i used to be. happy and optimistic. it's time that i let the person i love being come back again.

so thank you 2008 for running your course, but your time is done here. it's time for the 2009, the NEW YEAR to shine, the NEW ME to shine.