strange dream last night.

So i had a dream last night and it was about Kate from Jon and Kate + Eight.
and this other dream that had to do with me climbing up these unstable stairs to get to someone's wedding
and chris bosh was there. LOL and we took a bunch of pictures.

but first let's talk about the Kate dream.
so kate randomly went back to work as a nurse and she went to go help this woman who was exposed to this oxygen thing that burns your skin off so kate had to wear this huge suit that covers up like majority of her body and she had to wear this mask. she ended up going into this room where the woman was and then her face ended up burning/started wrinkling up randomly and then she ran out screaming. her face was soo freaky looking.
then it randomly does this flashback showing how she wore the wrong mask, those normal surgical masks, and she was supposed to use this other mask called the N95 mask.
then randomly jon comes to the hospital all worried and all and he was sortof crying hugging kate because she got infected and stuff. and they got closer because he didn't realize what he would have done if she was gone.
then my dream said how "tragadies bring families closer together". and i was like damn <3. what a strange dream.

then my other dream was about
mr. chris bosh
so randomly there was this unstable staircase that was I DON'T KNOW HOW HIGH but it was your path to go to this wedding thing. i dont' know but chris bosh was there and the groom who was like MAJORLY tall. lol
well people were trying to go across but could never go half way because the staircase was always too wobbly/moving so people would get too scared to go across. so i tried myself but i got scared too so i ended up going down and then the groom randomly helped me down by carrying me down. and when i stood in front of him, i literally went up to his stomach. 8| he was soo tall! ahha. well then i was like, hey, lets take pictures together, so it was me bosh and the groom randomly taking pictures of how short i was compared to them. hahaha. it was funny. and random again. lol


and yeah that's pretty much it.

i remember i had all these other random dreams,
one with orlando bloom where i think i won a date with him and we went to the mall.
LOL but at first it was like, we went to a party and there was these group of people randomly sitting in a circle, and then i was standing beside one of them and i grabbed their hair and pulled it back to see their face, it was elijah wood and i was like "YOU'RE NOT ORLANDO BLOOM". then i dont' remember how i got to go out with orlando bloom but i did and i had a good time. LOL

another dream was with jose calderon. LOL it was too funny, but i'll post that one up later when im more in the mood.
im tired so im gonna take a nap.

uh oh.

lol, well i think im feeling better now.
i need to try to be more optimistic/happy
SOOO i had a lot of icecream today.
haha. a couple of days ago i did 20 situps, 20 pushups, 45 seconds of that sitting down with no chair and your back is against the wall thing, and 20 jumping jacks.
i think the exercise was a bad idea cuz now my jaw bone near my ears are hurting ALOT.
+ a couple of days, a week or 2 ago i sortof tried to eat my baby brothers snack which tastes AMAZINGLY DELICIOUS,
and i ended up snapping this elastic that's holding my teeth together.
i have 2 on each side of my mouth. the side that had one, well LOL that one just snapped a couple min ago cuz i was eating strawberry cheesecake icecream and bread and there was a chunk of cheese cake i was trying to bite on.

i swear i think im gonna get my ass kicked by my surgeon :(

hopefully i won't get into that much trouble.

you're trapped, and there's nothing you can do about it, but wait.

So it's been... about 2 and a half weeks since my surgery,
i've had blended up mcdonalds, soup, rice
boost, arizona, gaterade...
pretty much anything i can blend/make sure it tasted good at least to eat.
it's not even eating to be honest, it's like drinking all your meals. (that's if there's anything there to blend)

what do i have to go through?
well it's like you're stuck behind this swollen up skin surrounding your face,
unable to take it off, unable to do anything about it but to keep it on and wait for time to pass and wait for it to heal on it's own.
you're disguised as this ugly thing (And trust me, if half your face was swollen, i don't think you'll think you look too hot either).

what else?
my bottom lip and chin are still numb. from time to time its fun to poke at, it feels like playdoh.
after eating things, sometimes when you stand in front of the mirror you might find your milkshake or chunks of jello on your chin and you didn't even know!
oh yeah, and in the beginning, everytime you'd laugh, it feels like your mouth skin is stretching from left to right.
right now the pain isn't that bad but i can still feel the hooks they attached to my brackets slice chunks of my lip skin everytime i smile/laugh. honestly, i piece of my skin is like hanging there.
oh yeah, and i have this other thing attached to my upper teeth, this platform looking thing that i bite on.
and there's these elastics that are holding my jaws together so i don't open my mouth to wide or my stitches'll come out.
they're already coming out. i can feel it. it's funny touching them with my tongue.
they run along the bottom part of my lower jaw, up onto my inner cheek skin and then to my upper back jaw part.

it sucks to be honest. not being able to eat, go out, have people over for a couple weeks.
well i can have people over but everyone has work and school going on.
staying home all day, everyday, doing the same routine, eating the same food, not being able to do anything....
it's annoying + frustrating.

what would you do if you had to go through that.

well, i know time will heal everything but i just really wish that time will go so much faster....

i need a new book to read :( i tried reading the hobbit again, but i've read it already.
i've read the last 2 harry potter books too.

i want twilight. LOL. the movie sucked, no effence to anyone who liked it.
i just think the "OMFG<3<3<3" love scenes, romantic parts were captured int he movie as well as it was explained in the book (as i've heared from the 54604643540640 girls + 1 guy who talk about it)

*sigh*. it took someone 1 + 1/2 months (6 weeks) for their swelling to go down (someone who actually had jaw surgery before)
2&1/2 weeks of 6-8. :(